The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
