The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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