we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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