So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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