Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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