so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
