Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize