He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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