ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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