Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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