3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My first STD was from a foam party
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
