therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
