I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry my hands just texted you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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