i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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