If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
