I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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