I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
