Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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