So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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