4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
