We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
