it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
