You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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