No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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