the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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