He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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