Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize