part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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