I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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