you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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