grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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