it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
