Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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