Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
