I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
