Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You're a waste of cheezeits
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
