you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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