I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
