I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
