why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm both gender and math confused
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
