i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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