i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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