I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
