Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
