She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
