So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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