just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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