Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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