There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
