Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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