you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
