hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
