Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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