There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
