Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
