Fuck appropriateness.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
