what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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