I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
