The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
