that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
