so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.