i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?