People in love make me want to vomit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
