He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!