seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize