all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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