I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
