Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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